In 1974, two men, Dr, John Gribbin and Stephen Plagemann, published a book entitled, "The Jupiter Effect." Therein, they predicted that the world would experience a devastating cataclysm in 1982 as all of the planets in our solar system gathered on the same side of the sun as the earth and the combined gravitational pull of all these bodies would severely strain the earth's crust, causing a shift in the earth's rotation that would lead to global destruction the likes of which mankind (allegedly) had never before experienced. There was a movie released in 1982, as well.
I don't remember much of the specifics, but I remember being utterly enthralled by this theory. I'd been deeply convinced since the age of 10 that this world was coming to an end, not by some chance alignment of the planets, but by the hand of God as He waged war against Satan the Devil at the batle of Armageddon, which, for Jehovah's Witnesses, was (and still is) always "just around the corner". This "chance" alignment could simply be Jehovah's way of making it happen.
Of course, the world didn't end in 1982. If it had, my life would likely have ended then, as well, as I was not even trying to be "one of Jehovah's Witnesses," which, back then, meant near-certain death for those outside of their organization. Even though I was out of the closet and being my (real) self, I always had in the back of my mind the belief that someday God would destroy this wicked world and, even though I'd never survive into the promised "Paradise on Earth," the one that caused me to be so despicable in God's eyes—Satan the Devil—would himself be destroyed. Somehow, I was able to glean a sense of justice from this conviction, and I wrote about it in a journal in the late '80s, in pretty much the same words: "At least I know that the one who caused me to be this way [gay] will himself be destroyed forever."
Sometime around 1982/83, I discovered a series of books written by one Immanuel Velikovsky. The first one, published in 1950, was Worlds in Collision, wherein a startling new approach to ancient history and the Bible was introduced, and it was right up my alley! Velikovsky proposed that events described in the Old Testament surrounding the Israelites' exodus from Egypt, the forty years spent wandering in the wilderness and events experienced in the time of Joshua's conquest of Caanan—interpreted for millenia as miracles from God—had actually taken place, but were not miracles. Instead, they were the result of a near-collision of the earth with another, near-earth-sized celestial body: a comet ejected from the core of Jupiter that eventually settled into orbit around our sun and became the planet Venus.
This was complete and utter heresy! Velikovsky took away the Divine nature of so-called miracles and replaced it with something that made complete sense to me. The thoroughness and sheer scope of his research was virtually unheard of, at least by me, all but eclipsing that of the Watchtower Society up to that point, and the book, The Two Babylons, by one Rev. Alexander Hislop (begun in 1853 as a pamphlet and published in book form in 1919). I have always been fascinated by researching and libraries, and had begun building one of my own—a number of volumes of which I still have today—so I devoured these books, and others like them, like candy. I was all-but-obsessed with the means by which Jehovah God would cleanse the earth—even though I never believed I would actually benefit from it—and these books, The Jupiter Effect, Worlds in Collision, and Earth in Upheaval (also by Velikovsky), gave me many, many hours of enjoyable speculation as to the nature of what was about to strike the human race.
To this day, many of my favorite movies and TV shows are about global cataclysm and the complete chaos that would inevitably ensue: Armageddon, Deep Impact, 2012, Jericho, as well as alien-instigated devastation like that in Independence Day, Battle L.A., Battleship and others. The more realistic the portrayal of devastation, the better. It's not at all about the death and destruction, but about cleansing and rebirth. We as a species are out of control and some kind of external intervention is required before we get it right, in whatever form it may come; I've always felt this way and feel so far more strongly today. It is my understanding of the possible nature of that intervention that has changed.
Of
course, the world hasn't ended yet. Had Gribbin and Plagemann been right, human civilization would have been all but wiped out in the throes of catastrophic global upheaval. Had the Witnesses been right about
certain calculations based on certain Bible prophecies, Armageddon
would have come and gone and this planet would have begun it's
transformation into the "new (paradise) earth" two or three decades ago. Either way, our world as we've known it should have ended in the 1980s, for better or for worse. For me, however, it wasn't this world in the physical sense that ended that decade, it was my world...but more about that later.
During my four-year hiatus from Jehovah's Witnesses, I gave a lot of thought to the end of the world, but little-to-no thought about what I needed to do spiritually to have any chance of surviving whatever was coming. I had no desire to return to the bigotted, homophobic elder body of the local Kingdom Hall, and once I moved to the D.C./Maryland area, I didn't think of them at all. But I knew that, deep, deep down inside me, a void was opening up. I needed more than bars and parties and sex. Those were excellent distractions, but they held no substance. I began searching for something meaningful and substantive to do with my life. My job was just a job, and I had no real purpose in life. So I decided to revive an early skill of mine, calligraphy.
As a late teen, I'd begun writing out parts of the Bible in calligraphic script, usually uncial. It had been my goal back then to write the entire Bible this, an act of deep love and respect. While the Bible was out of the question in 1983, my talent would find expression and it did in a big way when I discovered a book on "magical alphabets". I cared nothing for the "magical" part, but became thoroughly enthralled with alphabets. I remembered J.R.R. Tolkien's elvish alphabet from Lord of the Rings (which I'd read two or three times at that point)—and sparks started flying everywhere. I found all the books I could on ancient languages and their alphabets and xeroxed a veritable books' worth of pages to pour over, and I dove head-first into the creation of my own language, one that no one would ever be able to understand—including, as it turned out, even myself!
An ancient language with an ancient character set that no one can read! Imagine: I could write out the Bible, artifically age the document, then bury it somewhere for archaelogists to find and puzzle over for years to come! YES!
I compiled my own alphabet by mixing characters from many different alphabets from around the world, picking out the ones that seemed like they belonged together. My first draft was beautiful and since I needed to something write about, the only thing that seemed worthy was the Bible, specifically the New World Translation used by Jehovah's Witnesses. I had no interest in what it said about me and my lifestyle, just the text; I translated/transcribed the first three chapters of Genesis before I was done with that version of my language. Of course, by the time I'd made it that far, I couldn't even read the first chapter, I'd made things so complicated.
While I had no desire to expose myself to the Bible's message about how bad me and my lifestyle was, I had a nagging desire fill the spiritual void growing inside me. What could I do from which others could benefit? I began exploring the occult and came upon an aspect of astrology I'd never before been made aware: the ephemeris, a chart outlining the positions of the sun, moon and planets for any given day of the year. I was a whiz at mechanical drafting and decided to combine my interests into one enormous project: an ephemeris on steroids, one that showed the planetary alignment for each hour of each day, one month per volume—in graphical form. It would bascially be an astrological chart for each day of the year, eliminating the need for creating such charts from scratch. I knew it would be a massive undertaking, but I thrilled at the prospect of completing such a project.
I had a goal, a purpose, a belief that there was something to astrology, if you really dug into the precise alignments and inter-relationships of the planets, and this ephemeris would be the ultimate tool for helping people find meaningful answers to the questions plaguing them, as well as myself.
To be continued...
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