Velikovsky and the Search for myself - Pt I

I have spent at least 40 of my 49 years of life believing what others said I should believe.  My early childhood led me to the belief that I was inherently flawed and would never amount to anything, no matter how hard I tried.  My teenage years were rife with conflict, both within and without, as I began to adopt a Bible-based belief system that was diametrically opposed to the new realization that I liked guys instead of girls.  I was told to believe that such a thing was unnatural and demonic, and would bar me from ever having a relationship with God, "Jehovah," and gaining "everlasting life in Paradise on earth."  I was deeply convinced of that outcome, despite the fact that my being gay at no time felt unnatural to me.  But I believed in the Bible so strongly that I was willing to kill off one whole half of myself in order to conform to what I was told was "The Truth."

In 2005 I began a years-long process in therapy (with Belinda B.) to uncover what was at the root of my addiction problems.  That same year, I was diagnosed with 1) PTSD, 2) OCD tendencies and 3) Bipolar II Disorder.  The latter began, ironically, in 1985...the same year, at age 22, that I revived my association with Jehovah's Witnesses after a four-year hiatus.

As my sessions with Belinda progressed, she spoke more and more about finding one's "personal truth" and that there was no "one truth" to fit all.  I had a tremendous amount of difficulty with that concept, as I'd always been taught that there is, in fact, only one truth, that of the Bible as presented by Jehovah's Witnesses.  My truth was their truth and there was no other.

It wasn't until seven years later, in the summer of 2012, that I finally understood what she'd meant, and this is where the writings of Immanuel Velikovsky enter the picture...

This account is continued and expanded in the series, "How I Lost My Faith".